The Plans We Make
I had it all figured out. By age thirty, I would be married, established in my career, living in a beautiful home, and starting a family. I had written down these goals in my journal at twenty-two, circled them with a highlighter, and felt confident God was aligned with my vision. But life had other ideas.
At twenty-eight, I was still single. My career had stalled due to a merger that eliminated my position. The house I thought I'd bought fell through when the seller backed out. I remember sitting alone in my apartment one evening, opening that old journal, and feeling the crushing weight of disappointment. Where was God in all this? Didn't He promise to bless me?
Maybe you've been there. You've worked hard, prayed faithfully, made what seemed like wise decisions—only to watch your plans crumble. The job you thought was secure disappeared. The relationship you believed was "the one" ended unexpectedly. The diagnosis came back differently than expected. The opportunity you'd been praying toward went to someone else.
Key Scripture: Proverbs 19:21
"Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails."
Understanding God's Sovereignty
This verse doesn't say God is interested in our plans or that He'll work them into His agenda if we're good enough. It says His purpose prevails. That word—prevails—suggests an override, a superseding of our carefully laid schemes. For years, I read this verse as bad news. It sounded like God dismissing my dreams.
But I was missing the point entirely. God's sovereignty isn't punishment; it's protection. His refusal to follow my plans isn't rejection of me; it's redirection toward something better. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Notice the emphasis: His plans are for our welfare. His purposes are for our good.
The question isn't whether God has plans—He does. The question is whether we trust His plans more than our own.
When Your Plans Fall Apart
The Initial Shock
When circumstances don't align with our expectations, the first response is usually shock. We go through a mental replay: Did I misunderstand? Did I miss something? The disappointment can feel like betrayal, especially if we believed we were following God's leading.
Here's something important: It's okay to grieve disappointed expectations. Jesus wept when His friend Lazarus died, even though He knew He would raise him (John 11:35-36). He didn't skip the grief process or spiritualize it away. He felt it. So can you.
The Temptation to Doubt
After grief comes doubt. "Maybe God isn't good." "Maybe He doesn't love me." "Maybe I'm being punished for something." These thoughts are normal, but they're lies rooted in pain. In these moments, we're vulnerable to making poor decisions—settling for less than God's best out of fear, bitterness, or desperation.
This is where you need to anchor yourself to Scripture before your emotions drift further. Choose truth before you feel it. Say it aloud: "God is good, and His plans for me are good, even when I can't see how this fits into the larger picture."
The Reorientation
As weeks and months pass, something remarkable often happens. What looked like a dead end reveals itself as a detour. You meet someone you wouldn't have met if things had gone according to plan. You discover a gift you didn't know you had. You grow in ways that required your original plan to fail.
This isn't rose-colored thinking or toxic positivity. It's recognizing that God works in dimensions we can't see. Proverbs 20:24 says, "A person's steps are established by the Lord, and He takes pleasure in their way." Your steps include the unexpected detours, the surprising redirections, and the moments when your carefully laid plans fell apart.
Three Truths When Life Doesn't Go According to Plan
Truth #1: God's Plans Have a Larger Canvas
We think in terms of our lifetime. God thinks in terms of eternity. We plan for next year; He's orchestrating redemptive purposes across generations. When your plan didn't work out, it might be because God saw a future collision you would have caused, or a person you're meant to help, or a character development you require for a bigger purpose ahead.
In Genesis 50:20, Joseph tells his brothers who had sold him into slavery, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." Joseph's original plan was to be a shepherd in Canaan. God's plan involved him becoming second-in-command of Egypt to save his entire nation from famine. His detour wasn't punishment—it was promotion.
Truth #2: Your Character Is Refined in the Detour
When everything goes smoothly, we don't develop depth. We don't grow in patience, perseverance, faith, or compassion. James 1:2-4 says, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be fully mature and complete, not lacking anything."
The trials aren't punishment; they're training. Your detour is developing you into someone capable of handling the opportunities ahead. If you had gotten exactly what you wanted exactly when you wanted it, you might not have been ready to steward it well.
Truth #3: God's Timing Protects You
Sometimes God says no to our prayers not because He's withholding good things, but because His timing is different from ours. When I didn't get married by thirty, I was devastated. But looking back, the relationships I thought I wanted would have been destructive. The person I eventually married at thirty-four was worth the wait. God protected me by delaying my plans.
Ecclesiastes 3:11 says, "He has made everything beautiful in its time." Not beautiful in our time—in His time. Sometimes the most loving thing God can do is make you wait.
How to Navigate Disappointed Plans
1. Grieve Without Despair
Allow yourself to feel disappointed. Journal about it. Talk to someone you trust. Let yourself be sad. But don't camp out there. Give yourself a reasonable time to grieve (a week, a month, whatever you need), then consciously choose to move forward. Grief is healthy; despair is destructive.
2. Release Control
Your plans failed because you were never meant to be in control. Matthew 6:33-34 says, "Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." When you release control to God, you release anxiety.
What does this look like practically? It means praying, "God, here's what I want, but I trust You more than I trust my own judgment. I release this to You. If it's meant to be, it will be. If not, I trust You have something better."
3. Stay Open to New Direction
When your original plan fell apart, did you immediately scramble to put it back together? Or did you pause and ask God, "What are You trying to teach me? Where do You want to redirect me?" Sometimes our greatest breakthroughs come when we're flexible enough to follow God's new direction rather than stubbornly insisting on the original plan.
4. Look for What God Is Teaching
In every disappointment, there's a lesson. Ask yourself: What is God trying to develop in me through this? Am I learning patience, faith, humility, compassion, wisdom? When you can identify the spiritual development happening, the disappointment takes on meaning.
5. Help Others Through Similar Situations
One of the greatest purposes of your pain is to comfort others experiencing similar pain. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, "The Father of compassion and God of all encouragement... comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort ourselves have received from God." Your disappointed plan positions you to minister to others whose plans have also fallen apart.
A Personal Testimony of Redirection
Five years after that evening when I grieved over my failed plans, I was sitting at dinner with my now-husband when I shared this story. He looked at me and said, "I'm so glad those early plans didn't work out, because it took me two more years to become the man I needed to be for you, and it took you becoming who you needed to be to recognize it when we met."
In that moment, I understood. God wasn't withholding from me; He was preparing me for something bigger and better than I could have orchestrated. The detours weren't punishment—they were preparation. The disappointments weren't rejections—they were redirection.
My original plan would have given me a husband, a career, a house. God's plan gave me all of that plus spiritual maturity, deeper faith, compassion for others in pain, and a marriage built on the foundation of both of us learning to trust God's timing rather than our own agendas.
Today's Prayer
Father, I confess I've been trying to control my life and my future. I've believed my plans were best, and I've been grieving when they didn't work out. Today, I surrender my carefully laid schemes to You. I acknowledge that You see what I cannot see and know what I do not know. Help me trust Your plans more than my own. Give me peace in the midst of uncertainty and faith to follow wherever You lead, even when it's different from what I planned. When I'm tempted to doubt, remind me of Your faithfulness. When I'm tempted to despair, show me Your purpose. Thank You for loving me enough to redirect my path. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Action Steps for This Week
- Write down three plans that didn't work out. For each one, identify how God's redirection turned out better than your original plan or what spiritual growth resulted.
- Identify one area where you're still trying to control the outcome. Pray about it daily, releasing it to God.
- Share your story of a disappointed plan and God's faithfulness with someone who's currently struggling with disappointment.
- Memorize Proverbs 19:21: "Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails."
Final Encouragement
Your disappointed plans are not the end of your story—they're a chapter in a larger narrative that God is writing. Stop trying to snatch the pen back from His hands. Trust that the Author knows how to craft a better ending than you could have imagined. Your job isn't to make the perfect plan; your job is to follow the Perfect One.
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3:5-6
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